Nonverbal Communication

Last Fall, I took a class on interpersonal communication competence. By far the easiest class I've ever taken because I'm actually a very good communicator (despite what my ex gf says).

There are basically two types of communication: verbal and nonverbal. Verbal being what you say, nonverbal being everything else. This includes tone, body language, facial expressions, etc.

Not to toot my own horn here, but I've been tested a bunch of times in my life (IQ) and while I'm always above average/superior overall, verbal reasoning has always been the area where I score off the charts.

Which brings me to my dilemma: why does no one ever ask me out? I know how to give signals and I know how to read them. Yet, all my relationships or hooks ups have started either after dancing at a party or drunkenly making out (<-- how I got together with my ex).

I have done copious research on this topic and have tried all the tricks, nothing works. I wear the right clothing that's flattering yet not slutty. I know the subconscious tricks, touching the clavicle while talking, dangling the heal on my high heel shoe, that sort of thing. Oh and I can't forget, the rumple - although my hair doesn't do it very well. I either end up with a birds nest on my head or my hair just falls back into place because it has a mind of its own.

Anywho, it seems to me, that all those little tricks are only good at indicating to another person that you are physically attracted to them but have nothing to do with any real connection. However, looking like you're interested in what a person's saying is a useful trick.

I don't know if a connection to another person can be identified by the exchange of signals and words. Certain people have stood out to me and, as a friend of mine put it tonight, I am the only one that seems to know the reason why. Except I don't really. Some people that I have a lot in common with and they are, I'm sure, very interesting people, but they just don't ....

What's a better phrase than stand out? Like the rest of the world is blurry and they are in focus. Not just my ex or people I'm romantically interested in - this goes for my friends too. If a person sparks my interest, I am their loyal friend (or whatever) forever. Perhaps it has nothing to do with signals at all, just a matter of patience.

I absolutely love coincidences sometimes. The day I started writing this post, actually within the hour I started writing, a cute boy asked me out.  We bonded over our fondness for computers. I swear my life must be a movie because this scenario was too well written.

I hate the word 'experimenting' and prefer 'undefined' but really as far as preferring boys/girls I just go with the flow. Whoever comes in to focus, comes into focus. I don't see much use in asking why.