My oh my

I have experienced so much this weekend darlings, I barely have the words.

I previously mentioned a minor pickle I was in about liking a girl that was taken and potentially dating a guy that wasn't all that exciting.

That pickle has now multiplied and exploded.

So Kat, whom I've previously mentioned, and I talked a bit more since my last post. What it boiled down to was that she wanted to see me while I was in town, was obviously flirting, and invited me to a scandalously themed party. No mention of the alleged girlfriend during any of these conversations.

A few nights ago (Friday) I get invited over for drinks at about 10pm (oh my). I get there and she and her roommates are sitting around talking and drinking. I had thought it'd just be us, but this was fine. I told myself that if she still had a girlfriend that I would do nothing with her. I would hate to be the cause of pain for another girl, whether I know her or not.

Well alcohol got involved and things went a little nuts. First, one of Kat's roommates blatantly said that she thought I was really pretty. Ended up kissing her (making out, briefly). Then I guess Kat got jealous, but I started getting very strong signals from her that she wanted me. At one point, I'm talking to this other girl (a friend of her's, who I actually kissed briefly later too) and Kat's sits next to where I'm standing. She positions herself so that my legs are between hers, and then closes her thighs so I'm clamped between them, meanwhile, she's also fiddling with my fingers with her hand, pulling me towards her. STRONG signals.

Except at this point, it's been made clear to me that Kat still has a girlfriend, but she kept mentioning that they had an 'arrangement.' - even drunk I knew that was bs.

After her friend left, we began making out. Her friend and roommate also started making out and somehow we all ended up in the roommates bedroom. It seemed a foursome was inevitable. But alas, everyone else made a big parade of showing up in the room, demanding to watch, so it never happened. I can't decide if I was more relieved or disappointed.

Fast forwarding a bit, Kat and I end up in her room (which is really more of a converted office - it's very open and has a sheet for a door). We're really starting to get into it when the fan that was resting on her window falls over for no explained reason and hits Kat in the head. It seems that before the shit could hit the fan, the fan hit her. Hard.

After that, it 'hit' her that despite her and her girlfriend's arrangement, being with me was cheating. We ended up just talking for another hour or so, put our shirts back on, and she walked me out. At this point I'm thinking we're in friend zone for sure. Obviously, what we had done hadn't been right (at least the universe didn't think so) and there was nothing further we would be doing romantically.

We're outside, I say good-bye and turn to leave, but she grabs my arm and pulls me back and kisses me - and a real kiss too, not some little peck - just like in every romantic comedy (further proof my life is a movie). Every thing before then could've been attributed to drunken debauchery, or simply a mistake. This was odd.

Anywho, the next night is that party at her house. I see her a few times, but overall she seems to be ignoring me. Also, the girlfriend is there. I don't pursue Kat at all during the party really, I figured she must feel awkward about me being there. For some strange reason though, I really wanted to talk to the girlfriend. Her name is Mary. I didn't feel awkward or scared about doing so, and it wasn't about sizing up the competition. I guessed that Mary must be some kind of awesome person if Kat was with her, because I find Kat fascinating.

And she was. I was very impressed with her. She is smart and engaging and friendly and cool (I know this is awkward, but we're now friends on fb, which probably wasn't a smart move). I think she liked me too, and even mentioned us three hanging out. I thought I could have my cake and eat it too.

Since then, Kat has not spoken to me. Not actively ignored me, I just made a few attempts and she ignored them. I texted Kat the following day just to let her know that if she and her roommates wanted to use the pool at my apartment that I could let them in. No response. About 12 hours later I messaged her 'hey' on fb chat. No response. Day after that, I went by her house (I know that sounds creepy, but she lives across the street from me so it's less so) to ask if anyone there wanted to join me at the pool (and also to talk to Kat about what I'd realized out the night before).

This is what I realized: She probably had a horrible impression of me. From her perspective, I probably looked like predator, like I was trying to break her and Mary up, or even a crazy/obsessive person. I thought if I could just explain to her what I've said to you all that she wouldn't think that anymore. If I could explain that the last thing I want is to break her and Mary up, that my behavior Friday night was completely out of character, and that I only wanted to be her friend that everything would be good and I'd have a bunch of new friends.

I texted this idea to my best friend and she said that I should absolutely not do that. That I should give her space and not contact her for a while. This seemed way off to me. I generally believe that every problem can be worked through with reason and logical conversation. My bff assured me that I wouldn't come off as logical, but overwhelming, if I did that.

So I listened for the time being, I had other things to do anyway. I actually had a date with a boy. Nice guy, very interesting to talk to, but not a romantic connection. Anywho, so I did nothing in regards to Kat, and once I got home, I reconsidered my bffs advice. It still didn't seem right to me - and she was online on fb chat.

Instead of messaging her, I messaged my friend Jordan. He'd been there for me with great advice during my drama with my ex girlfriend and I figured he'd have something wise to say on this matter as well. He did - the same advice as my bff - but he explained it a bit better.

He said that I probably did come off as overwhelming, maybe even threatening, and that my best bet for maintaining a future friendship was to not contact her for at least three weeks. But not just because I didn't want to come off as overwhelming, but because I needed to give her time to understand whatever feelings she's having about what happened. She could feel guilty about it. She could be confused about her feelings for me and for her girlfriend, and I needed to give her the space to deal with that. This definitely made sense to me and so that is what I'm going to do. I am not going to contact her again (or any of her roommates, unless they initiate conversation) for about a month while I'm back in LA. I'm going to just go on living my life, not wait around for a text or a call from her dictating my next move. When I come back up to Davis to visit, I'll just send her a text or something letting her know I'm in town and if she wants to hang out to let me know. Let her decide if she wants to pursue a friendship or other type of relationship with me, and if not, I haven't spent my time waiting around for her.

I do really like her, and I'd like us to at least be friends. I don't know what it is, but I find her fascinating. I can normally read people really well, but I can't read her at all unless she's really obvious. She's also a really good kisser...

Anywhizzle, her roommate's (the one I kissed) job happens to be to find out stuff about people online, so it is completely possible that she'd find this blog and perhaps show it to Kat.
If this is the case, Kat, I apologize for my behavior on Friday night. You asked if I'd had any expectations and I lied a little when I said I didn't have any. What happened is exactly what I wanted to happen (mostly) but only if you didn't have a gf, which you obviously do. I don't want to be the 'other' woman and I don't want to break anyone up. I would very much like to be your friend (without benefits) if you are still with Mary when you read this. If you aren't, then you know how I feel and can do with it what you will.